I gave my 2 months notice at my current apartment.
I guess this was my way of saying “YES” to a future with HIM.
What have I agreed to? And more so, how do I deal with my guilt of having a man with 2 young children now with a physically challenged girlfriend? I sometimes feel as though I am “saddling” him with something – with me, I suppose. I realize I am “owning” his feelings in this regard, but it’s difficult not to. I feel like an amazing success in every area of my life, except for this one. Perhaps the greatest issue of all is my thinking – these are not thoughts conducive to a successful mindset.
I’m learning to say “YES” to stillness and quiet. I used to be a person who dashed about as in a manic state. Attending meditation classes several times a week is bringing me to a new place – breathe, breathe, breathe. Deep breaths, always coming back to the breath.
I often put my heart into things… but rarely my heart and soul. Today, at High Noon Toastmasters, I was scheduled to deliver a sales presentation. My original thought was: tolerate a dry topic. With a little creativity combined with a topic I am passionate about, I put in more effort that any of my speeches have ever received. Handouts, a web site, and green smoothie samples. What a difference passion makes!
Italian psychiatrist Rudolph Assagiolo outlined specific steps to achieve this:
- Clarification (Having clear goals)
- Deliberation (Brainstorm ideas)
- Choice (Contemplating options)
- Affirmation (Ability to use mind creatively to solve problems)
- Planning (To carry out the changes)
- Acting (Rehearse plan in mind and then act on it)
Luskin, Dr. Fred and Dr. Kenneth R. Pelletier. Stress Free for Good. New York: Harper
Collins Publishers, 2005.
Giving up control is a terrifying prospect for me. Therefore, I need to do it.
Blackstone Lake, Ontario
Results in itchiness, scabs, AND the wonders of nature!
Rather than purchasing my vegetables, I am now growing them at a mere fraction of the cost. They are organic and well-loved.
Daikon Radish
More and more, as time goes on, my hear is opening more and more to him. When it comes to him, everything is a “YES”. Because I know and trust him as a reasonable, logical, compassionate, and caring individual, there is nothing he could ask of me that I would refuse… He came into my life unexpectedly, entered my life gradually, and is now heating my heart like a slow-burning ember. For the first time in my life, I have consciously decided to fully let go of the past, concentrate on the present, and look forward to a future with him. I have no need to carry around any baggage anymore. The past no longer matters; it is the NOW that matters with everything and the NOW leads to the tomorrow. I am truly blessed!
